September 3rd, 2018 - The Wind Cave

Dear TNY,

“The Wind Cave.”  Fuck shit assface cock dick fuckwad ass shitstain ballsack motherfucker dillweed dickwad fuckstick assnugget dongbreath cocksucker dicklicker fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou.

Whew.  Now that my immediate response is out of the way, I’d like to say that an eight-year-old could have written this story.  It was as literary as Family Circle comic.  And the whole thing could be chopped down to a page, and that still wouldn’t save it.  Name based publishing, dipstick.  Fucking Cosmopolitan.  Fucking People Magazine.  Fucking 8 ab exercises that Ryan Reynolds does.  Fucking Kim and Kanye have new fucking baby and Demi Goddamn Lovato is at risk and fucking Batboy has been found in the fucking Amazon and fucking 17 ways to make your man come and fucking traditional cornbread muffin recipe that your grandmother would approve of goddamn garbage fiction.

I guess I wasn’t done. 

You’re a shameful magazine filled with fiction that’s less interesting and more poorly written than toilet paper used on a post-Taco Bell anus.

No thanks,

Nick