January 4th & 11th, 2021 - The Rivals

Dear TNY,

For the first story of 2021 you chose “The Rivals”.

And I’d say that this story is better suited to have never been printed at all.  Three characters in the first sentence.  More than double that in next paragraph.  No time is taken to allow me care about them or even to differentiate between them.  Multiple locations given but with no real depth to anything.  It’s all coming off as cardboard bullshit.  That’s because it’s summary.  It’s the worst kind of summary, that being confident, non-self reflective, and verbose, rendering it all meaningless, and I gave up just at the end of my first page (about 500 words in).  It’s overwrought in a style that 1) died a hundred years ago and 2) should have stayed dead. 

But, I am definitely not the audience for this.  I think Karen is probably the audience for this.  Karens of all ages.  This allows them to feel cultural without ever having to, you know, actually do anything cultural.  They can read this story and talk about their experience with it (not, you know, anything outside themselves, natch) at their book club, drinking their Chablis and pulling both of their Lululemon enrobed legs up into the armchair, sideways and tucked under, their bare feet nuzzled under the bottom end of their big loose knit sweater, themselves so full of spirit and joie de vivre, and later, at the grocery store, when they get told by a kind, young Mexican woman in the deli that, I’m sorry ma’am, we are out of that brand of hummus right now but we can certainly write you a raincheck, they will become enraged and demand to see the manager (who hopefully will be white and can do something about this atrocity) such that he can magically shit them the hummus they have earned. 

This kind of story makes me remember why I don’t read contemporary novels anymore.  Because this is the kind of shit that paying people want to read these days.  And I might be angry at you, TNY, but I’m a fucking rage monster about the state of humanity right now because of shit just like this.

Sigh. 

Well, I was hoping for something to do today.  Guess not.

Later.

Nick