April 4th, 2022 - The Ukraine
Dear TNY,
Boy howdy, you published “The Ukraine”.
And why wouldn’t you? It’s hot shit right now. And, if I have to put my finger on it, that’s what upsets me the most.
I’ll get this out of the way: I don’t support the war in Ukraine. Obviously. It’s fucking nonsense. Insignificant men trying to get what they couldn’t when they were little: adoration and love. And now people are dying because of it. It’s fucked. And I’m guessing here, but I’m pretty sure I’m right, not one person on your staff has ever served their country or gone to war. So, you know, you have opinions. Cool.
Anyway, does this story suck? Yeah, it’s not very good. It’s like someone put words in a blender and hit “superfast go”. Which is fine. Authors fuck up. We aren’t perfect. The characterization is hidden behind a bunch of Ukrainian details (and, weirdly, Ukraine is a character and I still really don’t know who it is because its characterization isn’t handled well). It’s hard to follow the narrative arc because this story favors little snippets, but the snippets don’t build the right tonality throughout, so the reader is left with little to have feelings about as generated by the story. Which is how a story should work. I mean, a girl killed herself for chrissakes, and that shit doesn’t feel like anything.
But, this story isn’t supposed to elicit an emotional response because of the story itself, is it? I imagine you think we should feel deep things about Ukraine because it’s a big part of this story, right? And I think your lesser readers will. Beverly will text Barbara and say, “Have you read the Ukrainian piece in The New Yorker?” And Barbara will invite her to coffee a block over from Central Park and they will talk feverishly about Ukraine, as if they know a goddamn thing they didn’t pick up in the last month, while gesticulating the horrors of the dead and displaced so that others, out of earshot, will know they care. And later, when the media presents them with a new atrocity to glom onto, they will leave Ukraine behind.
But that’s not what I think when I read this. The first thing I see is that it takes a month to interrupt your fiction publication schedule. Because that’s how long the war has been on before we have seen a Ukrainian piece of fiction. I also see that in the entirety of this four year project I have been working on, I’ve never seen a story about Ukraine, that I can recall anyway (there may have been one, I think, about a woman moving away or something, but it wasn’t good enough to remember). So, what I see is a magazine trying to capitalize on what’s hot in the media. What I see is an editor saying, “Goddamn it, someone get me some fiction about Ukraine, and I’ll give a bonus to the person who gets me that fiction by a Ukrainian author.” Now, I have nothing against Ukraine or Ukrainians. Nope. Good for them. They are making us Americans look like real dickturds right now, which I appreciate. And good for this author for getting published, even though it’s because they were lucky enough to be in the right place and right time with regard to, you know, a fucking war (not their fault that a war is on; I get it). What I have a problem with is your complete lack of couth. Not only does publishing this come off as a pathetic grab for readers, it also stinks of catering to elite douches who only care about the topic of the “literature” and not the story or merit. It stabs Ukraine and Ukrainian culture in the face, not by being inaccurate, because how could I know as an American who has never been, but by waiting until now to come out. But I guess what else should I expect? You publish shitty stories as advertising all the time. Nobel Prize winning author shits on a napkin? Publish. Elbow-rubbing NY author has a shitty novel coming out next month that plebes would call “literature”? Publish. An actor decides to try their hand at writing so they fashion a tale? Publish. A stolen relationship story, which includes a cat, that will be unbelievably divisive, sexist, and validate toxic behavior in morally bankrupt women? Motherfucking publish.
You just treated a country, which is currently occupied by a warring force, like a fucking bandwagon. Good work. Solid fucking humaning, baby!
What I would suggest, if you really want to help the war effort, is to get on a fucking plane, fly to a country neighboring Ukraine, walk across that border, and get your fucking hands dirty (so that we are clear, you might be asking why I’m not helping, and that’s because I already served my country, fuckfaces, which is more than can be said for you (and note here that it was during a war that I also did not support, but was forced to participate in anyway)). And if helping isn’t your agenda, then stop pretending to care and stop profiteering off of people who are being attacked and selling their “brand” for the consumption of rich bitches who can debate the merits of this and other media content from the “safety” of the US. And so that doesn’t sound completely sexist: by bitches I mean people that believe your fiction is meaningful, relevant, and deserves existing, regardless of what’s dangling between their legs (sorry in advance to my friends, the legless, in case I have offended).
Back to the story. This shit reminded me of “Cattle Praise Song” in that it seems to sacrifice quality and literary merit for inclusion. I refuse to believe this is the best that Ukraine has to offer. You’ve done a disservice to a country by publishing this. Given time and genuine care, I’m certain you could have found a better example to represent their culture. But your idiot readers, of course, have proven over the years that you don’t have to care about quality or accuracy. The readers just want to feel relevant. Fuck my face, what a business plan.
Do we need stories about Ukraine and its culture? Yep, I back that 100%. Do we need them now? Meh. We likely needed them before, so that this war would matter a little more, especially to your precious, tender readers. And we certainly don’t ever need them if the cost is sacrificing the art. But you know as well as I do that an excellent Ukrainian story wouldn’t have sold to your readers six months ago. Back then you were hawking some other bullshit that had more advertising value than empathetic response.
Don’t be a dick. Publish shit that actually matters. Or don’t fucking publish at all.
Fuck off.
Nick
