November 26th, 2018 - The Frog King

Dear TNY,

You are once again a massive waste of my time.  This particular tune was “The Frog King.”

A gay, grad school writer on some magical holiday in Italy filled with love and literally kissing every inch of a person?  A story with minimal to no conflict, sunsets and bells and Venice?  Could you be more cliché?  TNY, do you even bother to read this shit before printing it?  This is a fucking coffee commercial from my childhood.  And to pack all the cliché into block text comprised of 80% redundant descriptions?  Like, what’s the fucking point of printing this?  How are you moving literature forward?  In what way is this different from a romance novel other than it is shorter?  Oh, romance has conflict.

I can’t fucking handle it, man.  How is the whole world not beating your door down because of how badly you are ruining literature?  Why are you a tastemaker?  WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS IRK ME SO BAD AND SEEMINGLY NO ONE ELSE.

Whatever.  Fuck off.

Nick