March 25th, 2019 - Dandelion

Dear TNY,

So, the thing about “Dandelion” is that I liked all the words that the author used in the story, but I am raging about how they were arranged.  Moreso, you assface fuckwad, I’m raging because you failed to intervene to alert the author to this very large issue with the story, that being the words are arranged such that the story is disinteresting and lifeless.

Now I’d like to harp on stories that are about writing. Again.  Firstly, I’m gonna hit up this heap.  The part of this story that is about revision is totally fucking unnecessary and sets the story on a different path that it was, and is, actually on.  If you cut the bullshit about revision from the beginning and keep the scene as a contained unit in the Alps, the story would benefit from it.  Why?  Because the story would then flow as a unit unto itself, which is what a story should do.  And because it would not, once again, completely miscategorize writers as self-important douchewads whose experience is somehow better than non-writers because writers put words on a page (and then somehow get published in your magazine).

This brings me to the second point on stories about writing/writers in general.  They, writers, are not important people.  Their process.  Not important.  Their struggle.  Not important.  The entire process of writing, from the kernel of vision until the words are on the printed page…not fucking important.  The only thing that is important about writers or writing (verb) is the product.  The story should speak for itself.  The story should transcend the process that created it and the person who did so.  Because the entire consumption of the written word is a picture produced in the reader’s head, why would you clog it up with shit about writing or the writer?  Why not allow the reader to make the reading their experience, completely, and not fuck up their jam with some self-congratulatory shit about writing?  Wait, I know the answer to this!  Exclamation point!  Because you, TNY, believe in self-congratulatory writing and writers!  Another exclamation point!  Therefore you are unable to understand where you falter!  Excla-fucking-mation point!  It’s narcissism at it’s finest, bruh.  You and Prez DJT, slaying the “my shit don’t stink” meme.  Baller for dayz.

Again, I’d like to point out this has nothing to do with the author, as the author can write what he or she wants (naturally; that’s art…or “art”).  I’m saying, you, TNY, should have fucking stepped in and said, “No.”  Emphatically.

Thanks again for proving you are an untrustworthy bag of ass.

Nick

P.S. For an example of when the artist is irrelevant but the work is magnificent, please see the Winged Victory of Samothrace.