October 19th, 2020 - Life Without Children
Dear TNY,
I surprisingly liked “Life Without Children”.
Now, that’s not to say that I cried or was moved or I thought it was perfect. It wasn’t. But, it’s the best thing from you since…I can’t even remember when.
Let’s start with pacing. It’s on point. This story barrels along with the same frenetic energy that the main character has. That’s such a subtle detail to engineer, but it’s clutch in pushing the reader deeper into a story like this. Also, the character was dichotomous. He was never fully committed to anything. But he was somewhat committed to both lives, the life without children and the one with children. This type of characterization is something most of your other stories lack, yet it’s key to most complex real humans (I want so say most people in general, but goddamn has the world gotten fucking bad where internal conflict just doesn’t seem to exist these days, which means people think they are awesome and have no self-check to see if, in fact, they are pieces of shit (spoiler alert: they are pieces of shit)). In your other stories, the world just happens to the main characters. They are the victims. This guy was happening to himself (sure, the ‘ronies was happening around him, but he was constantly in conflict with himself). In fact, there’s more to that parenthetical statement. This story wasn’t about the ‘ronies so much as it was about his internal conflict. And that’s key. It means the social agenda was there to support the character development, not the other way around. That’s something I harp on you sonsabitches about all the fucking time. And here, you learned! Huzzah!
All of this adds up to great tension in this reader, anyway, about whether or not he’ll make it out. And tension is what’s up.
I guess, to summarize: I was not bored. I was not mad. I was engaged.
There were a couple of negatives, though. First off, I am so over the fucking ‘ronies. Jesus Christ do I not want to read about what’s happening (and that lack of desire is based on an ocean of fucking reckless behavior by the general masses, placing their own needs above the needs of our kind (that reminds me of Jeff Flake writing that check with the memo “Country over Party”; seems like “Humanity Over Self” isn’t going as well these days, but if we’re honest, neither is “Country Over Party”)). But I know that’s my external interference so I’m tuning it out when I read this. That being said, I don’t know how this story will stand up for anyone 50 years from now that didn’t live through this type of thing. Maybe they will have their own type of thing. Probably will. My kids will probably go through this shit all the time. Terrible.
Also, I appreciated the brevity of the backstory at the beginning and I appreciated that it was there, but I felt that segment was very much meant for the reader and was not just natural storytelling. Specifically, when we get to the statement, “And now: it’s another one. Another moment,” I felt like all of that shit above was the author talking. Not the narrator or MC. I felt that tighter integration in that spot would have smoothed that transition out and created a more cohesive feel. Maybe start just after that part and then do a flashback, like what was done with the desk part, but somewhere sooner in the story to give this backstory information. Also, Geoff showing off his desk which was really trying to tell another man that his life was fucking trash was so…that’s how men do. I appreciated that.
Look, I don’t know. I liked it. It didn’t piss me off and it wasn’t filled with garbage. I was so pumped when he put his phone in the dumpster. And I fucking knew he would go back. But goddamn, man. It’s the small wins. He won the day. He ditched the phone. He fucking did it. Just like this story. It’s not the best goddamn thing you’ve ever printed. But it’s like reading a story from an old anthology; it’s nothing like reading your current drudgery.
Look at that. I didn’t even talk about my real life. So cool. You guys gave me a story that was more distracting than my life.
Fuck, to live in a world where this was midgrade for you would be amazing. Instead, this is the gold standard of this year, maybe.
Big maybe.
Later, Beav,
Nick
