September 14th, 2020 - The Englishman

Dear TNY,

It was a beautiful day of small library construction here on the Oregon coast, and I just finished “The Englishman”.

Something like this, right?  Once upon a time there was a boy from bumfuck who was into boys who seemingly made a mistake (no he didn’t) with regard to a “job” posting in a gay magazine and then, upon realizing (not really) his mistake, he did not want to be a prostitute for an Englishman who apparently smelled like lemons.

So what?  Like, who the fuck cares?  Nothing fucking happens.  Goddamn am I tired of this garbage.  I’ve read user comments on Pornhub that tell a more literary story than this.  I just don’t get what the point is of publishing a bunch of bland, unoriginal, tedious, boring short stories that ultimately never achieve the whole point of their artform, that being transcendence.  It makes no fucking sense.  Who is reading these pieces of shit and believes they are literature?  Who is buying your fucking magazine for its fiction?  Has the whole world gone fucking crazy?  Am I wrong here, dude?  Am I wrong?

Fuck it.  I’m gonna go bowling.

Nick