June 21st, 2021 - The Coast of New Zealand

Dear TNY,

Another fucking turd in the form of “The Coast of New Zealand”.

Are these stories written to be interesting for the dullest fucking people on earth?  I believe they are.  There’s just no fucking point in them.  Like, seemingly the purpose of this story is to end the story with the quote at the beginning because someone thought that shit was clever.  And, to go next-level clever, the story was filled with stereotypical library characters and banal garbage. Yay!

And my biggest fucking beef, you idiots, is that we are talking about digitalized libraries, right?  As in, we have moved many of our library resources to digital systems?  As in, computers exist?  Right?  SO WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A FUCKING STEAM SHOVEL ON THE CONSTRUCTION SITE?! It’s called an excavator.  Get your fucking head out of your pastoral, academic ass and learn your fucking blue collar shit, you dumbfucks.  I think the last time a steam shovel was used in construction was about the time the first issue of TNY was published.  You sound so fucking out of touch when you don’t catch shit like that.  You pride yourself so much on your copyediting skills, but this shit must have been copyedited by a suite of individuals who have never led what some of us call a “life” in the “real fucking world”.

Sweet God.  Who fucking cares about any of these fucking librarians, George included?  Fucking no one.  The goal of literature is to get people to fucking care.  I’d rather shit my fucking pants than read this story again.  And I just might. Don’t tempt me.

Meanwhile I’m living, bitches.  Headed your way, actually.  Want to meet up?  Have a beer?  Wax poetic about what makes a great short story?  Or will you stay up in your insulated, ivory tower, and look down at us plebes who know what steam shovels and excavators are?

Dicks.  Anuses.  Tits of all kinds.  Eat ‘em up.

Nick